Princesses
by TheQueenofBooks1000
Summary: The everyday shenanigans of the Disney Princesses' lives during the times that they aren't ladylike or proper.
1. Trudging in the Rain

**Hi, guys. This is just a little story I'm doing about the Disney Princesses and some shenanigans. I don't really know if my tone is a parody or whatever, but yeah, it's not awfully deep or meaningful. Just a sprinkle of fun here and there.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE DISNEY CHARACTERS.**

* * *

><p>Once upon a time, lovely ladies arrived to royal banquets on horse-drawn carriages. They wore beautiful gowns of intricate design and embellished with the finest jewels of any land. They carried themselves with all the poise, grace, and alacrity that they possessed, smiling and waving at the cheerful peasants who called them 'Princess,' and serving their lands with kindness and compassion.<p>

"Hurry up!" Princess Jasmine hissed. Her face was streaked with mud and little pieces of bark as the rain continued to hit her and her fellow princesses on the face. Her long dark hair hung limply on her back, except for some strands that insisted on covering her eyes, making her stumble on the rocky path. A large, teal duffel bag alternated between being clasped in her arms for warmth and hanging on her shoulder. Either way, it was far too heavy for her tiny frame. In addition to all that, her shoulders were bare except for a thin shawl, and she was shivering. "We're already late, and _I'm _soaking wet!"

This, clearly, was _not _exactly 'once upon a time.'

It was a dark and stormy night. The sky was black, except for a thin slash of lightning that appeared every so often, striking near a tall mountain, and near this mountain, we lay our scene. The winds roared and moved like wounded animals, causing tall, gloomy trees to slap against each other. The pavement, peppered with fallen leaves and slick with rain, was devoid of either human or animal touch, for no one dared to venture on this kind of weather.

"Hey, at least you don't have to drag seventy feet of hair around this muddy road!" the uncharacteristically cranky Rapunzel shot back, teeth chattering. Her purple gown, most likely fit for royalty a few hours ago, currently looked no better than an old sack on Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Corona. "Even magic won't salvage this mess. It's gonna take a year's supply of conditioner to remove the tangles!"

At least, no one except for a small group of young princesses, apparently.

A rock fell from one of the higher planes of the mountain nearby, and nearly hit Ariel, the mermaid princess, on the head. She shrieked and ducked away. "Why, oh why, couldn't we hold these sleepover meetings in _my _palace?" she sighed as she dragged her suitcase full of her clothes and thingamabobs up the crooked road. "Even if it's underwater, I think we'd actually be _drier_ there than here."

They lapsed into a tense and annoyed silence, wanting so badly to release their negative energy on somebody, _anybody _at all, but the person who was to blame for their predicament was, sadly, not around at the moment. Unfairly distributing anger wasn't a habit of any of the princesses, so they opted not to speak rather than yelling at each other.

Suddenly, Snow White gasped. "Oh, dear!" Hugging her cloak closer to her, she regarded her expectant friends sheepishly, and said, "My friends, I seem to have gotten us lost."

And just like that, all Dreamworks broke loose. "You WHAT?" the princesses screamed in unison.

Snow White, their designated guide, sheepishly turned her phone off. She had been using the GPS thingy in her iPhone, and it was confusing, to say the least. "Well, it says here that we're only two miles away…from Peking, China. Oh, I'm really sorry! I always said that I wasn't any good with Apples," she joked weakly. She swallowed when she turned and saw four pairs of eyes looking at her venomously. "Um, perhaps I could sing for my bird friends to guide us?"

"Why do you even need a GPS? How on earth do you not know where Cinderella's palace is?" Rapunzel cried, throwing her arms up in the air in exasperation, and dropping her bunched-up hair to the wet ground with a splat. "You guys have been friends longer than all our combined existences!"

"Now, that is _not_ true!" protested Snow White, a dark blush staining her ivory cheeks. "I'm not that old. And I am technically just fourteen!"

"Well, now I know why Cindy's our so-called leader," Jasmine scoffed, "even if she's not the first ever Disney Princess."

"Oh, come on, girls, stop the bickering," Tiana said, although her teeth were clenched and her eyes spelled murder. Although she had a soft spot for the kind Snow White (and they often cooked together during these royal banquets), the Princess of Maldonia now felt the strongest urge to hit her on the head with a badly-fried (and therefore rock-hard) beignet. But Snow White wasn't number one on her hit list. The first target was the person who got them into this mess, which was none other than Princess Merida, for insisting that they skip the usual royal carriages and take a healthy hike. "You can't always expect to be waited on hand and foot," Merida had said matter-of-factly, in her thick accent. "And besides, you girls need all the exercise you can get. Oh, no, I'm not insinuating anything," she added hastily when Aurora glared at her. "_Everyone _needs exercise. Now off we go!"

They actually agreed to her plan, because the weather was rather lovely and, after the 'light' refreshments they had from Maudie, felt like they did need a walk. All except for Aurora, who was so fatigued that, after promising her appearance at Cinderella's party, she promptly fell asleep. Her fairy aunts eventually had to bring her to the banquet. Merida, impatient with the princesses' leisurely pace, finally running off to the horizon, shouting that they'd better catch up. Two hours later, it rained. And rained. And rained even more.

It was her fault that they were all stuck in this maelstrom, and that frizzy-haired kid was probably already at Cinderella's warm palace, wearing dry clothes and sitting comfortably by the fire. It was hopeless. Still, Tiana tried to comfort her fellow princesses. "We're almost there."

Lightning flashed, and the rain continued to pour in buckets. "And I wanna be part of their world…the world of the dry and not scary!" the mermaid princess spluttered. "Can we please stop by a store or something first?"

"I'm with Ariel," said Jasmine. "Let's look for shelter."

They forged ahead, and within ten minutes of searching, they found a small, boarded-up barn.

"Should we, or should we not?" Rapunzel asked, eyeing the place nervously.

"The roof might cave in!" Snow White said fearfully.

Ariel and Jasmine exchanged glances. Jasmine sighed. "I say we go for it," she said. "My hair feels like it weighs a thousand pounds."

"Your hair? What about mine?" Rapunzel giggled a bit. "Oh, all right, let's go see the inside."

They gingerly stepped in and collapsed on the damp hay in exhaustion, except for Ariel, who was unable to sit still. She decided to explore the back of the barn.

"Look," Tiana suggested, "Snow White, you have a phone. Can you contact Belle or Mulan? I think they're already there. Maybe Pocahontas is, too."

"I only have Aurora's number right now," Snow White replied. "A lot of our royal friends blocked my number, because Dopey's cousin Sleazy stole my phone and sent them some…thing." She turned scarlet and looked away.

"Oh, ew, I got that message, too," Jasmine said disgustedly. Rapunzel laughed, her crankiness subsiding a bit, and Ariel only thought long and hard about what the 'thing' could possibly be.

"I don't want to know," Tiana said tiredly. She reached down and massaged the kinks on her feet. It felt like it was on fire. "Aurora, then?"

Snow White nodded and immediately put the phone on speaker. It rang, and rang, and rang, but the fair Briar Rose didn't answer.

"I reckon she's asleep again," the princess in green said dully. "Terrific! This is the last time we are going anywhere with Merida."

Rapunzel nodded. "Rowing would have been better exercise than hiking in this case," she remarked, curving her lips in a small smile. "I think it's flooding already."

"Princesses!" Ariel's muffled voice cried. "Look who I found!"

They immediately rushed over to their friend and stared.

"Oh, poor guy!" Rapunzel gasped, immediately kneeling before the stables. A donkey stared at them with woeful eyes. He didn't look sick, just sad. They all felt their hearts melt.

"You must be awfully lonely here, being all alone," Snow White cooed, rubbing the donkey on behind the ears. "What's your name, my dearest friend?" She looked at the name card on the stable door. It was blank.

"Well, in any case, you are coming with us," Snow White proclaimed with a smile.

"Whoa, wait a minute," interrupted Tiana. "We can't just go on and steal someone's donkey!"

"Sure you can!" the donkey declared. He stood up and grinned at the girls, waggling his eyebrows (did donkeys have eyebrows?) at them. "Hey, how you doin'?"

Snow White immediately backed away, tripping over a pail and landing on the muddy ground with her rear. The princesses looked at each blankly. Then they screamed.

The donkey looked confused. "Jeez," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "You'd think they'd never seen a talking donkey before!"

"Wait, guys, stop!" Rapunzel cried. She examined the donkey, thinking of her horse buddy Maximus. She's never seen a _talking _horse before, but… "What's your name?" she asked.

"Donkey! And I'd be willing to give you ladies a ride!"

"How?" Tiana asked, breathing heavily. She'd seen talking animals before, of course (Louis was probably still wreaking havoc in her restaurant), but the creepy-looking donkey caught her by surprise. "There's five of us and only one of you."

"You underestimate my stamina! I'll have you know that I eat five dozen carrots a day! And that's only for breakfast!"

Ariel looked thoughtful. "You know," she remarked, "you sound really familiar. Like…like…Mulan's dragon, Mushu!"

"Yeah, he kind of does," Jasmine murmured, eyeing Donkey suspiciously.

Donkey coughed slightly, averting his eyes. "Aww, what? That's insane! I don't know no talking dragons. Hey, I do think there's a buggy over there. It can hold three, I think? Two of you can sit on my back, now, ladies."

"I'm not sitting on his back," Jasmine quickly stated.

"Yeah, well neither am I," Rapunzel sighed.

"Oh, I'd rather not," coughed Snow White.

"Oh…fine!" Tiana grumbled. "Ariel, you come with me."

"No way! I don't want to get all wet anymore."

"You lived in a freaking underwater kingdom!"

"Well, I suppose I can handle a bit of rain," Ariel said resignedly. "I'm just not used to water anymore, I guess…"

"That's the spirit," Tiana grunted. "Now, girls, help me put your stuff in the trunk."

And much to their collective relief, they were finally able to go to Cinderella's royal banquet.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter features the other set of princesses. Please review!<strong>


	2. Reunion

Lightning flashed, accompanied by thunder, making the girls flinch.

The sitting room, an elegant yet simple quarter that was predominantly blue, was composed of six princesses. Belle was reading, Mulan was watching an old movie, Pocahontas was practicing her knitting (a hobby that she found strange at first, but now found it rather enjoyable), Aurora was drifting off, and Merida was unoccupied, mostly because she felt bored and restless with lounging around inside, preferring the great outdoors.

Princess Cinderella, the lady of this abode, anxiously kept her eyes out the window. "I do hope they're okay," she said. "It's been quite a while that they were out there…"

Belle looked up from her book. "I'm sure they're fine." She rolled her eyes at Merida. "You just _had _to pick today of all days to bring up some healthy exercise, huh?"

"Maybe I should send for the palace guards to search for them," Cinderella fretted. "Or maybe we can look for them ourselves!"

Mulan nodded, barely taking her eyes off the screen. "I'm up for it."

"Eh, they'll live." Merida plopped her feet on the table and lazily traced the floral pattern on the couch. "Try to relax a bit, Cindy."

Cinderella sighed and drew the silky curtains to a close. She sat on the couch with her slender legs crossed and looked at Merida's unladylike posture with a sort of fascinated curiosity. "I wish I could sit around like that."

"Yeah, well, why don't you?" Merida asked. "It's not exactly some magical activity. Just collapse, and there ya have it. You sit like my mother, ugh. Just sit like how I do."

Cinderella shook her head, smiling. "I'd rather not. I've gotten used to sitting like a pole's jammed up my arse."

Belle, Pocahontas, and Mulan laughed, as Merida gaped at the 'leader' of the princesses.

"Well, Cindy, I never thought that you'd be capable of such speech!" Merida continued to look wide-eyed, but a grin began to form on her lips. She chuckled. "I like that! Great to know that the prim and proper 'Princess of the Princesses' has a wild side."

"Oh, you'll be surprised," Aurora commented dryly from the couch. "Ella's quite a rascal. Don't let the sweet little demeanor fool you."

"You're not exactly 'Miss Proper Princess' yourself," Cinderella giggled. "At least according to my husband…who was talking to Prince Philip—"

"Arghh!" Like a shot, Aurora leaped up and covered Cinderella's mouth. She scowled. "The rat! A gentleman should not, under any circumstances, kiss and tell."

"I'll bet it was more than kissing," Mulan teased.

"Oh, and that's coming from the girl with the shirtless military buff," Belle droned, flipping to the next page.

"As opposed to the one with the beast in—"

"Guys!" Pocahontas shook her head. "Disgusting. Please cut the excess of information."

Merida gagged. "I know! I'm glad we stayed single, eh, Poca?"

Pocahontas bowed her head, carefully not looking at anyone. She stabbed the fabric a few times with her knitting needles and exhaled, "Uh, not exactly."

"But—"

"I'd rather not talk about it," she said crisply.

A moment of awkward silence befell the group.

"Ow, get off me, Aurora!" Cinderella grumbled a bit exaggeratedly, trying to dissipate the tension. "You're crumpling my dress."

Aurora playfully rolled her eyes. "Serves you right! It's your fault that I have to wear pink all the time. Don't tell Aunt Flora, but I actually prefer blue."

"I don't get why we can't have two princesses in blue," Mulan sighed. "I mean, three of us wear green now. And sometimes I wear my pink matchmaker outfit to those 'official' princess gatherings. Even if I truly hate it."

"It's probably because of the blondness," Belle suggested. "Maybe that's enough to confuse Ella and Aurora with each other."

"At least you girls get to wear numerous outfits in your movies. I only got to wear this one," Pocahontas gestured at her attire.

"I'd rather have stuck with what I'm wearing right now. That dress Mum made me wear looked positively awful," Merida offered awkwardly.

Pocahontas smiled at her as a way to make amends. "Yes, it looked like it restricted movement."

"Oh, you never told us," Belle broke in, addressing Cinderella, "why did you throw a banquet? It's a bit sudden. Especially since it's exclusively for the princesses. Adam was rather confused as to why he wasn't invited."

Cinderella smiled mysteriously. "Wouldn't you like to know…well, my job does have its perks. As in, I get to know the latest before you all do." She winked at Merida. "It's rather fun to keep you guys in the dark."

"What?" Belle frowned. She didn't like to be kept in the dark.

The blonde smiled again. "I'll tell you when the other girls get—"

A loud bang was heard, and a bunch of supposedly dainty feet stomped rather loudly on the floor. A voice, possibly Tiana's, rose among the others: "Oh, I am going to KILL Merida!" and other voices muttered their agreement.

"—here," Cinderella finished, her grin getting wider. She quickly stood, followed by her princess companions, and rushed out to the hall.

"Oh, just as I suspected!" Merida said with a smirk. "Ya just can't keep up, can you?"

The five princesses, dripping wet from head to toe in the grand foyer and caked with mud, bark, and other particles, each shot her a glare that would be enough to scare little kids off the Disney Princesses forever. "Towels. First. Bloodshed. Later," Tiana said between the violent chattering of her teeth.

"Here you go!" Cinderella called, with her arms suddenly full of warm and fluffy towels. The princesses looked at her in surprise. They hadn't even noticed her leave.

"So, what on earth happened to you? Besides the obvious, I mean," Belle inquired, just as Cinderella finished wrapping Rapunzel's shoulders with a towel and moved on to Tiana, who accepted the towel gratefully.

Rapunzel smiled a bit, cuddling into the warmth of the towel. "Thanks, Cindy. Well, we walked in the rain for a billion miles!"

"It didn't even take me that long," Merida interjected.

"Oh, brother!" Jasmine grunted. "If I weren't in actual Dreamworks right now, I'd send Raja after you."

"Just try," Merida said, her eye glinting. "I have my bow."

"Hey!" Pocahontas snapped. "No harming of animals."

"…that I would use on Jasmine," Merida added quickly.

"Better," Pocahontas said with a small smile and a slight roll of her eyes.

Jasmine glowered. "I thought you were on my side, Poca…oh, thanks, Ella."

"Yes, thank you, dear," Snow White sighed, as Cinderella wrapped the final towel on her petite frame.

"Ah-ahh-_CHOO!" _Ariel sneezed, sending sprays on the nearby indoor fountain. She looked at them helplessly. "I feel awful."

"Let's get going," Mulan urged. "Ariel needs to be near the fire."

"What's the word?" the princess muttered drowsily. Cinderella patted her on the back. "Mulan's right. Let's go."

The princesses headed to the sitting room, Ariel supported by Cinderella and Mulan.

"So, then what happened?" Belle asked.

"Well," Tiana put in, "we ran into this donkey."

"A donkey?"

"Yeah," Rapunzel said. "He brought us here. And he talked, too! It was pretty surprising. I mean, we've never had a talking _donkey _before."

"No, we haven't," Belle frowned thoughtfully. "Only enchanted furniture and talking crabs and fish, but Ariel can only communicate with them because they're essentially the same species. And Tiana was able to talk to animals because she turned into one herself."

"I know! And when Snow White said, 'Thank Disney,' he turned pale and trotted away." Rapunzel shook her head. "It was really weird, but he kind of saved us, so it's fine."

They entered the sitting room. After they had perched Ariel on the armchair nearest to the fireplace, Belle turned to Cinderella. "So, what's the news?"

Cinderella only smiled. "Maybe you should all prepare yourselves for supper first. Get some dry clothing, girls. And then, we can discuss this urgent matter."

Belle was about to protest, but she saw the state of her friends and shrugged. "Okay."

"I'll see you in a while, princesses." With that, Cinderella curtsied and left the room.


End file.
